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Leenie

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Feeling Alive

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 11, 2009, 9:43 PM

I just survived 8 days with no husband, no car and 4 crazy ( ill ) children. Nothing like that to put your life into perspective. I nearly burnt the house down... that was the worst of it really , the rest is now just a blur, packed tightly away into memory storage for moments of weakness. I just need to pull it out and realize what I have and appreciate it as much as I do today

I also took my oldest friend back to the airport this morning.He texted me as soon as he got off the plane in SLC Friday night and My Daughter texted me right after... saying Tom had got home finally (after much hunting drama) made it home.Instant relief for me. I had to ask favors to go pick him up because a passenger didn't want to deviate off course with Tom. I thought it would be hilarious for two guys decked out in all their hunting gear to go pick up my bestest gay male friend without me. friend would have seen the humor in it...as would my other half but no.... it was all about the passenger!! LOL.

Anyways... even though hubby was exhausted and sick, he graciously took us all on a little trip late yesterday and I got to dust off the camera. That highway will soon be closed off for the Winter but I wish I could be dropped off for a day up there, to just wander and take pictures. I feel passionate again about this and I feel very happy to be alive and very loving towards all of the people that mean the world to me.

There is no better feeling than to love...doesn't matter what it is..or who they are, just to

2 Comments

Mood: Affection
Listening to: Crossfade- So Cold
Reading: My typo's
Drinking: Wild Turkey- ever so slowly, there is no rush

Skin by `kjherstin

Crawling Out Of The Hole....

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 7, 2009, 1:47 PM

Feeling better once again...so thank you

Been tracking down people from the past, mainly my mums friends and it's been really lovely catching up, It's been forever...20 years in some cases but that's the beauty of Facebook. I miss the old days, the carefree days. Life seems to dramatic lately, through no real fault of my own but somethings you just can't help. Shit happens, usually for a reason too...but yeah, I'm finding a way to deal with it all.

Spent 4 nights in the mountains for the 4th of July. I really enjoyed it, we all did. It was well over a year since we last hit the great outdoors, for more than a day. My photography has suffered in that time but I think I got a few good shots away, nothing fantastic but it's a start at least.

Can't believe this year is half way over already....slow down!!!! LOL.

Leenie

3 Comments

Mood: Lazy
Listening to: The disney channel..grrr
Reading: News News News
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Black Coffee

Skin by `kjherstin

Complications

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 27, 2009, 8:39 PM

Nothing has been going right for quite sometime...I'm at the same stage I was 10 years ago...only it's taken me half the time to get back here again, to the point where I can't see any real way out. I can't talk to my other half....I think we hate each other actually and just this past week, I was more than willing to sacrifice everything I have ever believed in....just to make this work.I'm giving in....I don't yet know exactly what that means but all I know is, we are not exactly friends anymore and I don't feel as though what I was planning to do would really make things any better. I can't take the drama anymore. Ignorance is bliss if your the one giving out....

Basically what I am saying is...until I find myself again, I'm never going to be me, I'm never going to be creative. I feel like I can't be happy...ever. The happiness I had is gone forever and even though this is stupid to say, I feel so alone right now.

This is all amplified by being thousands of miles from my own damn country....my family and what few real friends I have made in this life.

It's all dark and gloomy but even though I can't see it yet..it will pass.Right?

3 Comments

Mood: Humiliated

Skin by `kjherstin

:)

Journal Entry: Sun May 24, 2009, 2:43 PM

I didn't know they made it easier to change your journal CSS hehe.... learn something new every day

2 Comments

Mood: Wow!
Listening to: My bird going off
Reading: As I type
Watching: My manners
Playing: With my journal :)-
Eating: Nothing as yet
Drinking: Whiskey

Skin by `kjherstin

Time To Clear My Messages

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 25, 2009, 5:56 AM

I am 4,369 messages

behind and I just replied to the first page....that's as far as my attention span will allow me get I'm afraid. Consider this 'starting over' and completely nothing personal, I just have to clear them away....cleanse my self...maybe then can I keep on top of it all.

In other news, I'm feeling better. I'm slowing down on drinking...I even went to bed at some crazy hour last night and that's why I am up at this crazy hour. I have really been awake since 4:44am, I just didn't want to get up.I was hoping to suggest we get out of the house this weekend and go have a photo day but it's ugly outside....

I'm going to go back to bed though, try and dream.... it's spooky quiet right now , I prefer staying up late and it be this way.

Have a wonderful day / weekend

Leenie

8 Comments

Mood: Love
Listening to: My inner voice ;)
Reading: News- Im a sucker for the news
Playing: SL
Eating: Coffee
Drinking: Coffee

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Journal History

Oct 11, 2009 Feeling Alive
Jul 7, 2009 Crawling Out Of The Hole....
Jun 27, 2009 Complications
May 24, 2009 :)
Apr 25, 2009 Time To Clear My Messages
Apr 17, 2009 6 Months and 2 days...hehe
Oct 15, 2008 Back but not.....
May 28, 2008 Back.....
Mar 25, 2008 Moving along...
Mar 20, 2008 Horny Goat Weed
Mar 18, 2008 More Time killing
Mar 17, 2008 First Daily Deviation
Mar 14, 2008 2 minutes till midnight
Mar 8, 2008 Tagged
Feb 21, 2008 Killing Time
Feb 16, 2008 Sick Family
Jan 16, 2008 Air Head
Jan 11, 2008 Happy New Year !
Dec 24, 2007 Merry Christmas
Dec 18, 2007 *

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Shoutbox

=JVarriano: First shout of 2009! This year is going by way too fast..
Tue Jul 7, 2009, 7:01 PM
=addr010: Wed Mar 26, 2008, 1:15 AM
~evilbyte1965: Hi baby
Thu Feb 21, 2008, 10:12 PM
~Jade78: Mon Oct 8, 2007, 5:30 AM
~evilbyte1965: Thanks for the feature even though I dont know what it means
Sun Oct 7, 2007, 11:32 PM
~evilbyte1965: There its gone and I hope its clean now
Sun Oct 7, 2007, 11:31 PM
~evilbyte1965: clean this box for you if I can
Sun Oct 7, 2007, 11:30 PM
~evilbyte1965: Hi Leenie
Sun Oct 7, 2007, 11:30 PM
~plague-rat: random vulgaritys!
Tue May 8, 2007, 2:06 PM
=angelbabiau: lmao....your a shit stirrer!
Thu Apr 26, 2007, 9:07 PM